Longing is Not Love
When I do readings on radio shows people often call in with a similar question…
When is “he” is going to call or show up again.
They share about the deep and powerful connection with a guy or gal – and then ask why they’re not together or when they will be. The other person is either married (and unhappy) or simply not showing up.
I want to be clear that I’m judging… this is about really getting the love we desire.
Being spiritually connected is about being present.
People often mistake a similar emotional experience around a person they long for when they are with them. However, there is also an underlying ache, it’s like missing the person when you’re with them. And that creates a deep hunger internally.
When we create a situation where we long for something, what we really desire is a piece of ourselves that’s missing. When you meet someone who sets your world on its side and is not available – you are the one who is not available… What?!
What is occurring internally will always show up in the outside world. Our inner reality reflects our outer reality.
Relationships with sustainable, healthy love embody the magic of discovering your own internal love in external form.
Therefore, when you meet someone who is extraordinary as a companion and is present in a peaceful uplifting way, it is because the love and peace you experience inside is being reflected back to you.
So, when someone is in agony and we can feel the palpable desperation and ache of longing, how can that possibly be love?
Simple: to that person it is the only way that they experienced love in the past. Often this meant that they were required to give themselves up for a parent or guardian to get love.
They were trained to wait, to put themselves last in order to get anything.
When we experience panic and longing for love we are reaching outside for a piece of ourselves that’s missing.
In essence it’s only a desire to protect ourselves from being hurt that has created circumstances that has kept some people from sustainable love. As long as one is in longing, then love always appears possible. But once you take a risk – it can be lost. Or can it?
Here’s the psychic rub:
How do you tell a client, desperate hear that the “one” is around the corner, that they will never find externally anything to fill an internal ache.
Any relationship formed from the intensity of wanting (or lack), will never be enough. When you’re in the middle of that kind of energy, it is almost always is impossible to see it, but it’s easy to spot in others.
So the answer to the cosmic question “when will I find love?” becomes very simple. You will find love when you choose to experience love. If you are in the state of “when will he show up,?” you have chosen the state of “when will he show up!?”
Energetically that is what you will attract.
When you experience love internally, it absolutely must show up externally. Therefore, the only reason it does not show up is because you are seeking it outside yourself to fill an inner ache.
Try this: Pull a Chakra Wisdom Card today. Ask yourself: What will I need to see in order to experience love in my life?
I look forward to hearing from you!
With Love,
Tori
P.S You can get the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Cards or the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Toolkit in your country by clicking here: http://chakrawisdomoracle.com/where-to-buy/
Tori you are so right again. When you feel complete and happy with yourself, the right one will come along. I was working the city counter at an electrical supply house one day when I met mine. 37 years later we are still happy and appreciate each other. If someone says “You complete me” RUN, do you want only part of a person?
Tina –
Yes. And only then can you really enjoy the 37 years 🙂 – wow! Thank you for the blessing of possibility! x Tori
Dear Tori I’m blessed by reading this. Despite knowing already that love can only be found within ourselves I’ve never realized until now. This is one of those things you read that change your life for good. The card I’ve picked is Dissipating.
Thanks a lot for this
I wish you all the best Tori.
A hug all the way from Italy! !!
Adriana – it’s funny how we KNOW things, yet when we get the experience internally – THAT is the real thing. I just worked on the dissipating card for my new book and I recognized something… there are many characters in this fable. Not only Canary and his lady friend… but people who buy into the story. What I personally learned last year is to let go of people that co-signed my limiting ideas about me. Breathe. Drop your shoulders. And let go of those who support what doesn’t work for you and never will. Breathe!! Step into possibility. … love from Asheville, NC! Tori
Dear Tori the card is even more evoking.
Thanks for sharing your story and your suggestion. Stepping into possibilities is a challenge.
thanks again and wish you a great day. Love !!
Tori I pulled complacency and realized how true the card is to what I am experiencing today. I need to start living my dreams and not let life pass me by.
Callie – Be gentle. This card is also about trying to live so someone else’s life is not wasted. I had a client once who pulled this card and we recognized that it was about no longer trying to live a life to make her mother’s dreams come true. There is a heavy burden in this paradigm and the key is to energetically give the burden back to the person who it belongs to. Then, you can shrug the weight off your shoulders and re-route (first chakra card… root) your path x Tori
I have never thought of it like this before but it really makes perfect sense! A very thought provoking piece.
Thank you Tori
Hi Tori, I really needed to hear this, asked to receive help and a sign from the Angels about this, then received your email (once I was patient and waited.) I pulled the card Balance, the start of a relationship, proceed slowly though i am hesitant don’t rush.
Have met someone and feels right but not happening, I’ve put up too many walls used to being strong and have to be vulnerable, this card and the email made me realise to complete myself ans be connected and that’s when it works with us,
I feel happy and calm and connected now, And hopeful,
Thankyou, Emma
This came just in time…
Great to see you Lorene! Hope you are well…x Tori
Tori – it took me a few days to get to this but it was so worth the read. This is a different way of viewing love/longing that resonated with me in my own life.
I did the process of pulling a card based on the question you wrote and pulled “discovery”. For me this resonated as how I see my self worth in a situation and how I arrived at this current feeling. I loved the card as the legend told my story. Lovely blog post!
Michele B
Thank you Michele! 🙂
Tori, I really resonated with this message. Thank you. I am having the most FUN longing experience ever because I started a relationship right before he had a vacation planned. So it’s not a longing of when will he call and what if? It’s a longing of wow we’re not together and teasing one another with anticipation with texts and sharing photos and thoughts and actually building intimacy during the time apart. I feel amazing and it’s very different from what you described. I have no doubt that I’m cared for and cherished and desired.