Stop Trying to FIX me! It’s Annoying!
Have you ever felt that someone is not hearing you? That someone is trying to “empower” you with their wisdom?
I recently listened back to a coaching session that one of clients taped with her Life Coach. My client, I’ll call her Kim, had asked me to listen to the session because she could not figure out why she was ignoring the advice of this high priced coach.
Someone who she felt: “Clearly has the best results of anyone I’ve ever known.”
Now in fairness, I’d never heard of this woman, and my client was puzzled as to what her block was in this matter.
She had heard I specialize in blocks.
I had to tell her that I didn’t believe in blocks. However, I’d be happy to support her if I could.
I began listening to the playback. I listened, impressed by this coach. She was bright and articulate and certainly had a plan that had worked for her… but why was it blocking Kim?
And then I heard it:
Kim: I was hoping for some growth this year.
Coach: Can you find a better word for hoping?
Kim: Okay, yes. I will have growth this year.
Coach: Good. Now what kind of growth will you have…
This was all I needed to hear.
Immediately, I got it. Did you hear it?
Kim was being shut down in this correction.Why was hoping a word that needed to be changed? Uh, it wasn’t.
This completely eradicated a vital part of Kim’s world. What did hoping mean to her? The coach assumed she knew and shut it down to help Kim “grow.”
And, I suspect this was a pattern for Kim too. The pattern of never really being understood when she sought to understand who she was, others probably spent time defining her. This created an endless loop of not being heard.
A block? No, this was a doorway. This was the key to understanding her. What did that phrase mean to her, and why did she say it?
In 10 minutes on the phone, she defined it for me. She had hoped her whole life that someone would “get” her. That word meant a-lot to her…
And really our framing of our world means a-lot to all of us. I call it being in …
…Inquiry
As in the state of inquiry.
Constantly asking: What does that mean to YOU?
What do YOU see?
Who are YOU?
Too often, as “experts” there is a mistaken idea that others want what WE have, when in reality, they want what THEY have to shine out in the world.
It hit me recently that while this was the work I do – I needed to ask YOU what YOU see. What is it that you feel is vital to get from me?
What do you want to know?
How can I support you?
With that in mind, I’d like to have you share with me your world. What was your reason for clicking that button to subscribe, or read my page or come over to my section of the world?
What is it that sparked a note of inspiration in you?
In exchange for your honest feedback, I will give 5 of you 20 minutes on the phone/skype with me to chat about whatever you choose. Life, your dog, your favorite recipe whatever you’d like and Ii will be there with you.
As they say: Gotta be in it to Win it.
That said, I will personally select 5 of you to get on the phone with. Ready?
I want to know what you need from me:
CLICK HERE to PLAY!
Hi Tori. Having been a member of your former Spiritual Club, I have the utmost respect in you and the wisdom you so graceously impart. I know that it is always the message my higher self wants me to here. I am a presenter at a large conference today and was just practicing for my presentation when I came across this post on my Facebook. This is the missing piece that I needed to hear that will make a hugh difference for my presentation. Thank you for the new perspective.
Love and Light
Darla
Hi Darla!
Great to hear from you and good luck with your presentation!
x
Tori
Hi Tori!
I too was once a part of your Spiritual Club and have many pieces of your jewelry! You were surprised that I dropped out of the club but I’m finding my way back. This article really hits home with me! Someone dear to me went through their own spiritual journey and awakening many years ago. I am on my own journey learning what feels right in my heart and soul and yet often I have been told “you just don’t get it yet … that’s your ego talking to you”. The same followed suit with learning Tarot. Like “Kim” in your above story, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t relate to some of the greatest teachers out there. One day a blogger basically said, follow your intuition. I had gone through this same process with organized religion years ago during a very dark time. I stopped going to church and just started having conversations with God. I now feel I have a personal relationship with God as I understand him. So I backed away from everyone in the Spiritual Growth arena as well as the Tarot arena; hence why I dropped out of the Spiritual Club. I’ve been learning at my own pace and finding what feels right. I’m learning to say to people “I’m glad that works for you but it doesn’t work for me and that’s o.k. for both of us”. I do still find myself reverting back to my “old” self and allowing others to impose their ideas or beliefs upon me but then I come back. I’m still learning and growing … after all isn’t that what our entire life span is about?
I just signed up for your Card Reading Magic! Found it through Kate’s “Daily Tarot Girl” site. So very happy to hear you are now in Asheville!! I’m a born and raised Charlotte girl who loves our N.C. Mountains and all the magic they offer.
Thank you for this article!