My 3 Tips To Being A Great Intuitive Reader
One of the most important things that a great reader does is inspire you. In my years of doing private sessions, my intention was always to offer people an uplifting message. Not just “good news”, but one that confirmed that they were on the right track.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t deliver challenging information. I once did a reading for a woman who’s dead son came through. Although it brought tears to her eyes, when I told her that he had chosen to come through even though his time with her would be limited, she had a deeper understanding of the tragedy that took him from her.
Her own revelation that she would never have traded that time, inspired her. This changed her entire dynamic to her two daughters, her husband who was about to leave her over this, and her ability to forgive herself for the judgment she carried against herself. When he reminded her that he was only meant to be here for 25 years, it gave her the ability to reclaim her own life.
In whatever work we do, we love those moments when we deeply connect and feel like we’ve won the lottery. It’s that overwhelming joy that something within us connected with the universal truth and something was manifested in that moment that made us greater than we were just moments before. In my opinion, there are three things that make a great intuitive reader:
1) They naturally understand how to hold space without occupying it.
In other words, they don’t step into the upset with their client. They are able to observe and support, in a way that helps the client find their own answers.
Those who can’t hold space, and up saying anything they can to make the client feel okay, often inadvertently create a dependency with their client.
For example, I often get people crying and asking, “Does he love me?”
An inexperienced reader will try to answer the question – which in essence – in its very asking – is unanswerable. They frequently will begin giving advice and step into the space with the client, being sympathetic and behaving as a friend. They are no longer holding space, they are in it. This type of relationship is a pattern, and perpetuates a weekly call from a client desperate to “find out” what “he’s” doing now.
When I have been posed this question, I very gently remind the client that if they are in this level of upset, they already know the answer. Therefore, the real question is, “Why am I in such deep upset over someone who is obviously not showing up for me?”
Holding space is an opportunity to support someone, not become involved in the problem.
2) The ability to embrace “not knowing” the answer.
True masters ask questions, hold space, sit in the unknown, and give themselves the time it takes to truly unmask the wisdom before them.
Too often, I see readers jump into interpreting the card before they’ve even allowed themselves the time and space to comprehend what it’s telling them. It’s an innate fear of not appearing to be in control.
When you first begin really working with your intuition, it can feel like it’s taking a huge amount of time to interpret a card. But opening up the energy to read cards and listening to the Angels speak to you takes time at first. Now, after years of practice, I can look and know because I instinctively recognize when my energy is open and receiving a message.
There is a skill to learning this, and it is what I love to teach!
For years, I ran a recording studio. I often trained the engineers how to work with clients. One day, we had a new engineer and I wasn’t there for his first session.
He recorded the talent, and sent the files.
At around 10 o’clock at night, I got a call saying that they were missing the first section of the recording.
Now, knowing that in that business things turn on a dime, I immediately phoned the engineer and asked him to come in because we were missing files. Luckily, he lived nearby. I met him at the studio and ask him to find the files for me because I couldn’t.
It was then that he admitted to me that he hadn’t hit the record button yet. He hadn’t been ready, and was afraid to tell the client this because the client loved that take so much. You can imagine what a mess this caused.
Now why would I tell you a story like that?
I mean, after all, we all make mistakes right?
But if we look at the bigger picture of what happened, this young man didn’t take the time he needed to prepare. As a result, the session ran him and he spent time trying to hide his mistakes rather than face them.
Do you see the similarity with card reading?
When you’re reading cards and you don’t know the answer, you end up scrambling to fill the space and do anything you can to avoid feeling or looking bad. I’ve watched as people do this time and time again. So what we’re really talking about is the behavior. Does that make sense?
A great engineer would say during that moment, “I didn’t get that take, we’ll have to do it again.” A great reader will say, “I’m not certain what this means yet, but let’s come back to it.”
3) The ability to empower the client.
A number of years ago, I was going through what I can only say was an extremely challenging time in a relationship. On a whim, I sat down to have my cards read at a psychic fair. Now I’m like everybody else, I love a good reading. I love when someone can tap into the truth of what’s going on and deliver it in a way I can hear it.
This reader pulled the cards and she immediately got that I was going through a hard time in a relationship, but then proceeded to tell me that it was going to be difficult for a long time, and that it could be years before I got over it.
I was already feeling beaten down, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to hear from a stranger that I was going to have years of this ahead.
This is an awful thing to do to someone! And, most people would just buy into what she said. Why? Because she had a partial truth – meaning she knew I was in an emotional turmoil over relationship.
So what happens is it immediately validates everything else the person says. So if she was right about the relationship, then she must be right about the years of pain ahead. Since her only interest was empowering herself, she ran with her prediction!
Sorry. This is a horrible reading. Unfortunately for her, I told her that. I asked her where the constructive empowering part of this was going to come. Her response was she was just the messenger.
Listen, I don’t think every reading should be hearts and flowers, but it does need to speak to me in a way I can receive the information. All that reading did was make me dislike this woman. And actually, it bummed me out.
It was clear that the reading was about her empowering her talent, not my life.
There is no way for any card reader to know, or any psychic to know for sure if your years ahead will be painful. Truthfully, I think it’s downright irresponsible to plant that thought in someone’s head.
I have come to understand if you don’t give the client the tools to empower them to change their lives, what is the point? If your client shuts down because your truthful information is delivered with brutality, I say find another profession!
How would I have done it differently?
I work and see things differently. I would’ve let my client know that I tapped into their having a challenging relationship in the present moment. As an empath I would’ve reminded them of the things they were seeking in that relationship, and empowered them to remember that within themselves. It is more of a dialog of empowerment than proving to my client my wisdom.
It takes knowing how to trust your intuition to do that, and I think it is a learned skill.
The point is, once this woman told me horrible information, I didn’t want to hear anything else she had to say. By the way, that’s different from not hearing what you want. But that’s best for another article…
Til next time!