2018 – My Theme Was Kindness And Showed Up Through My Dog’s Death

 In blog, Breakthrough, Tori Thoughts

When my beloved dog Frank was dying I really couldn’t experience the “special time with him” that so many others encouraged me to have. I was deeply rooted in the terrible pain of losing him, but more importantly, and quite selfishly – what the loss would mean for me.

I feared losing that so much that I couldn’t experience those “special moments” with him. And it’s not because I didn’t love him, it was because his life, who he was, was gone.

He was a skeleton that loved me so much and tried to protect me from the pain of losing him by staying alive. When in reality his life force was being sucked out of him day by day as he aged.

For many years Frank was one of the greatest joys of my life, I would simply look at him and smile and feel happy inside. His life represented everything that was alive within me. And as he was dying in the final six months of his life he represented everything that was dying, and had died within me.

It reminded me so much of the Tower Card in a Tarot deck.  It represents the things in life that we spend so much time fearing – and as a result, we lose focus on the wonderful things that we did create.

I think growing up in an alcoholic family where every moment was lived in the reflection of what could go wrong, I simply never knew how to live in the idea of – what could possibly go right? Frank was a darling awakening of what could, and did, go right in my life.

And as I look back at Frank’s life I remember how happy I was that he was here, how much he loved me, and how much fun I had with him.

Frank was the first dog I ever had that didn’t just love me… he liked me too. It can be challenging to cite the difference, but some dogs get excited when you feed them or pay attention to them.  Well, in actuality all of them do that, however, Frank chose to be with me over any experience – even food.

If I walked away with anything from my Tower Year I would say that I have truly learned to like being with me as well.

My theme this year was kindness, and as I look back, I can see just how kind an animal Frank was. I am now aware that my theme was realized in his death. He was so very kind, (not all pets are), and now I can see how my theme brought about this magical awareness.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this blog, comment below. I LOVE responding to those of you who do leave a note.

With Love,

 

 

 

P.S. The magic of my theme every year has been the tremendous growth and awareness I gain. OH! I forgot… it’s a class I offer once a year… lol.

P.P.S. We just put up my new special offers for December/January. CLICK HERE to check them out.

Showing 10 comments
  • Ronney Aden

    Dear Tori,
    WOW! What a powerful BLOG at Christmas time! Anytime, it would be magical, but it now it seems very special to me! You express such partnership, companionship, trust, devotion and loyalty – all wrapped in LOVE. When we allow ourselves to hold the memories in our hearts, magic happens. You shared your magic.

    And today I received your wonderful BLOG – giving me a chance to THANK YOU. My husband passed and my emotions are running high, especially in gratitude for all the wonderful memories. I want to THANK YOU again for your article

    Lots of LOVE,
    Ronney A.

    • Tori Hartman

      Ronney!
      How lovely to hear from you. Thank you for your wonderful note…x
      Much love to you!!
      Tori

    • Helen Bridgwater

      Tori, what a wonderful post. I’m an animal lover and have personally experienced the healing connection that we humans have with our favourite mutts. I agree, it is more than ‘cupboard love’. Dogs understand unconditional love far more than us humans. I’m sorry for your loss, but the love link will never go. They will still be around. Much love to you.x

      • Tori Hartman

        Hi Helen
        Thank you for reaching out to connect. Yes. Pets are God’s miracle for us all. I so agree. Many blessings and thank you! Tori

  • Sue

    Dear Tori
    I’ve had some very special animals pass through my life & I feel blessed & thankful to have known every single one of them x

    I’m going through a transformational period in my life right now & am slowly learning to like my self and to feel ‘worthy’ – so can relate to your blog in that respect too.

    Wishing you Love & Light
    Sue x

    • Tori Hartman

      Hi Sue –
      So many people I know are in that time of shedding old ideas. It’s exciting actually – to have access to all our feelings because then they become tools to support us.
      Much Love,
      Tori

  • Marie

    Hi Tori,
    I am so very sorry for the loss of you pet. I know all to well just what that does to your soul. I have never cried so much the day I lost my dog and then my beloved cat Tiger.
    We were together always. He liked to watch the Stargate Series. All I had to say was “the gate is open” and he would fly to the bedroom to settle down where he could watch the TV. I bought the whole series for him in that box with he gate on it. I haven’t been able to watch since.
    I am now in the stages of having to prepare myself, if one can ever, for the loss of his sister and protector since he was the runt. She’s 18yrs old and her last vet check said her kidneys and other organs were about to shut down. There was nothing that could be done that would not be risky because of her age, so just take her home and make her as comfortable as we can.
    She doesn’t understand why we cry cuddling her and we do try to keep that under control. There is a website called in memory of pets where you can post your eulogy to your pets and it is completely free if anyone is interested. I found it helped me with my healing writing Tigers story and posting my favorite pix of him there. *hugs*

    • Tori Hartman

      Thank You Marie –
      Those of us who have lost pets – and risk loving “a tragedy waiting to happen” – will always have the “gate” open. I love your story. Thank you for sharing it with us. Sending you light. x Tori

  • Marilyn Miller

    Hi Tori,

    I am so sorry about your loss of Frank. I can relate as I, too, have, many times, lost a beloved pet. It is so heartbreaking and gets you right in the gut and heart. Animals are such a wonderful gift God gave to us. They love you unconditionally with no judgement. They teach us so many things. Your beloved Frank will always be with you in spirit and may come back again to be with you one day. God bless.

    Marilyn

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