Another Frickin’ Growth Opportunity

 In Being in Breakdown, blog, News, Recent News, Setting Intentions

I have to admit, I’m really sick of hearing – when I am having a hard time that – it’s my chance to grow.

Who created this psycho-babble?

Okay, let me outline my rant…

Like you, I get a few newsletters from folks I like. One of the many I get is focused on being authentic in sales. Which in and of itself is an oxymoron…:) but stay with me…

This guy is brilliant. He really covers the idea of supporting people in making decisions in what is best for them. And, honestly, I like that. I don’t want to shoehorn someone into one of my classes if it’s a wrong fit for them. I have suggested to some people that a particular class is not right for them.


What made this guy a self-help guru?

People send him questions and he answers them. They’re mostly about sales but this one got me riled up.

The Question Was: I have lost everything. My home, job, relationship. I am devastated. How could my own thinking make this happen? I know I’m responsible. Why did this happen?

Guru Response: The universe is inviting you to grow.

REALLY? Blech!

This is superiority vomit. Sorry! Yes, WE know she’s growing. She knows that she’s growing. But that’s not what she was really seeking was it?

First, please don’t pretend that you understand another person’s pain by saying… you’re growing. NO one wants this kind of growth.

The truth is that hearing “it’s part of your journey” doesn’t support the person. It is a band aid without love.

Why did this happen to this woman?

Let’s step back. And as I like to say: use your Neutral Observer.

She didn’t ask for this trouble, growth, or pain.

What she probably did ask the universe for is a destination.

When I made the decision to leave California and move to Asheville, NC I drove cross country… now to anyone who has done this, Texas goes on FORever!

When we step back and look at my impatience in Texas, we can see that it’s part of the journey, yet when we’re in the car driving we have a very different view.

My question to someone who has a shattered life in the moment (or in Texas) as I like to say… is this:

What do you really want?

I used this example in my Life Purpose Divination course: a good friend’s wife cheated on him with his best friend and left him. She went on to marry that man and have a child with him.

I knew in my heart that my friend had done things to destruct that marriage because in and of itself he would have stayed true to his vows… yet what he really wanted was a partner, a best friend and a great marriage, and it was not what he was getting in that relationship.

The trauma of this experience left him emotionally and spiritually bankrupt for a time. But he stayed true to what he wanted to create.

When he met his now wife, it all made sense to him. But in the moment, he couldn’t see that he had a bigger dream than the one he was living.

He is blissfully happy and so is his new wife!

So the next time someone tells you it’s because you’re growing, tell them you’d rather look at the final destination, thank you.

Remember that the destination is not pain or “growth” the destination is what your soul is calling you toward.

Off to work on my book!

See you next week.

Much love,


PS If you didn’t get my Attracting Money through Your Chakra Insider Package, it’s still only $27 for entire series – until Friday the 13th 🙂

Showing 8 comments
  • Lauren

    Love this. So true. And you put it beautifully. Thank you

    • Tori Hartman

      Thanks Lauren!

  • Judith Martin

    Of whom do you speak?

    • Tori Hartman

      Hi Judith –
      I never remember all the characters in every book I read. I only remember the plot and occasionally the main character if they are truly memorable to me. If it was of service to say who it was I would. But it serves no purpose other than to intentionally try to damage this person. What does matter is that we remember that one size does NOT fit all. 🙂

      Much love,


  • Dee

    I love your comments, so real compared to some others you see. Thank you.

    • Tori Hartman

      Thank you Dee…:)

  • Orsina

    This was really interesting to me. Tori, I got the same email as you, and I have to say that your take helped fully complete the “guru’s” incomplete answer. IMHO, he wasn’t wrong, he was just short.

    I’d started following this guy’s work back in 2007 or 2008, and yes, he probably knows more about that which he speaks than most people in any given room with him. He’s not *my* guru, but I’ve taken trainings of his, and credit where credit is due. Growing a business goes hand in hand with self-examination and often self-change. No, that’s not in the brochure, but it happens anyway. And yes, blech. 🙂 Much love, xx.

    • Tori Hartman

      Orsina -I agree 100% Great take…!

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